College Town

I am back to school, well college actually.  I am a big boy now…lol.  I arrived yesterday at noon, unloaded, dad and I went uptown to grab lunch and books, and then we came back here for a bit.  We talked, unpacked a little, and then he left and returned home.  I unpacked alllllll afternoon.  But, I got everything put away and organized.  I also cleaned from 7 weeks worth of empty room dirt.  But I got it all done, and all is good.

Then I met up with some friends and reunited after a very long break.  It was terrific.   We exchanged Christmas gifts and then went to dinner.  We later went to a friends apartment and chatted and played games.  We returned to campus about midnight.  It was so awesome to be out that late the night before classes start.  Campus was dead and all…but we were out and it was fun.  I don’t have class till 11am, so it works out fine…and I love it.

I am finally living the college lifestyle:  Earliest class is 11, and I don’t have friday classes.  woot!

But, I am off to meet some people before we walk to class, and then I have a full, busy day of class.  This week should be good, fun, and fast.  I have friends in classes, and I like it.  I am excited and doing MUCH better now that I am back on campus.

ta ta

D

Hello, Goodbye

As soon as break started, it is over.  7 weeks flew by.  I had a great time.  I honestly did.  Work, money, family, a wee bit of fun, and some R&R time.  I got to clear my mind and literally take a break for a while.  I needed it.  I also spent some quality time with my mother.  We had a great time together over break and I really enjoyed it.  Lots of fun little trips.  Plus, the holidays, presents, Christmas time, etc.  It was good.

I am done packing now, minus the last minute things in the morning.  I am planning on heading out VERY early to be at school by lunch time.  Unpacking and re-adjusting all afternoon, and then hopefully re-uniting with friends in the evening.  I am still experiencing mixed emotions, but I think I will get over it shortly…or at least I hope.  I am excited for college atmosphere again, friends, social activities, classes with friends and meals together.  But, I am dreading being a lone, bored, depressed, and stranded during WINTER.  bleh.

In other news, my phone decided to power off randomly repeatedly today.  So, basically it isn’t functioning.  SO, I spoke to foreign ppl all afternooon and so did my step dad.  We also stopped by a store to try and resolve it.  no luck.  So, in 5 business days, I will hopefully be recieving a funcitoning, new phone in the mail.  w00t.   Until then, I am hoping it will work.

wish me luck in all of these endeavors.  Hopefully the move goes well and it is a good quarter.  It will be hard to control my emotions as I leave home and say goodbye to mom tomorrow morning, but I will have to be a man and deal with it.  I have become such a fuddy duddy, baby, and a homebody of late.  I hate it.   I need change…and perhaps some help.

Until I get settled at college and find the time to blog again,

D

Emotion

So I wasn’t going to update today.  Primarily because I was not in the mood to do it and I was lazy.  I had a good day overall**.  I went bowling with the parents this afternoon.  Mom fixed a wonderful home cooked meal for New Years.  It was delicious and fab.  Additionally, we again had family game night and it was enjoyable.  I helped mom do some stuff today, and I got a few small things done as well.

**However, as the day progressed, I progressively felt more and more sad, lonely, depressed, anxious.  This is because the fact that I only have 4 more days at home hit me.  I will be going back to school on Saturday or Sunday.  I haven’t decided yet…and I am not sure when I will.  I am in no mood to think about it now.  If I move back on Sun, I have more time to get ready, pack, and more time to spend at home.  I think I will be able to unpack in one day and prepare for classes.  However, if I move back on Saturday, I may spend the evening alone, quiet, depressed, etc in the empty dorms on a barren campus.  I don’t want to make the somber occasion of leaving home and more difficult.

Going to school this fall was so exciting.  I was ready for it.  I was excited for it.  I WANTED to go back.  I have none of those feelings for this winter quarter.  In fact, I have quite the opposite feelings.  I am sad, depressed, dreading it, and already homesick before I even leave.  It has something to do with some bad experiences last quarter, the VERY long break and time at home, and also the depressing nature of Winter itself.  I have a single dorm room, of which I mostly enjoy.  However, it gets extremely lonely and depressing sometimes.  The white walls are so close, it is so dull and boring.  It makes me crazy and depressed sometimes.  I like the freedom of my own room, but I miss living with another being.  It was exciting to have visitors last year…and to be social.  I miss that.  Moreover, I don’t have any friends in my dorm complex…and I resent that greatly…as I am sure it would help.  So, I just want to make sure that when I go back, I have people to hang out with.  I don’t want to be stuck in another night with no plans when all of my friends do their own thing.  I hate that.  I don’t want any conflicts.  No drama, etc.  I want to maintain the current friendships I have as well as meet new people and make new friends.  I want to add to my group.  I feel as though I don’t have enough friends, I am insecure about it, and that is one big thing.

I have become a fuddy duddy again over break, adjusted to my home life, and my life before college.  Break was extremely good to me, home, mom, family, etc was so good, I don’t want to leave it all again.  I am not the adventurous type…at all.  I like to stick to my ways and what I am comfy/happy with.   Returning to school and the unknown freaks me out.  I am a weak person, with low self worth, and I just can’t cope sometimes.

I need help. support.  friends. and love.  I have goals for this quarter.  and I want to get through it without completely crumbling.

I just need to suck it up, face my fear, return to school, and cope.  Hopefully things will work out and be ok.  I know it most likely will be.  But I doubt myself too much.  UGH.  I need to stop.

Basically thats it for now.  I had planed to go to bed much earlier tonight in order to clear my mind, get up early when things are fresh and not 12 pm.  I need to think, ponder, talk to a friend or two…and move on.

Much to do in the next few days.  I have to pack, shop, run errands, laundry, etc.  All of which I dream much.  Wish me luck.

Hopefully some good energy flows my way and I improve soon.  I’ll keep you posted and try to blog again shortly.

The betch is back…

So I am back from Christmas festivities and my dad’s house.  It was a pretty good time.  On Christmas morning I was at my moms house.  We opened gifts ate breakfast, cleaned up, etc, etc etc.  There weren’t many surprises…as well all knew what we were getting.  I was with my mom when she bought all of my presents so it was a real shocker.  lol.  Some of use also got our gifts before xmas…like me and my phone.  However, I got what I wanted, so all was well.  I drove to my dads around 2 and opened my gifts there.  My brother and sister are both young, so we still believe in santa. cute!  So I got ink cartridges there, a few lotto tickets and some money.  I also got a watch…the exact one that I wanted.  However, I only looked online for it and the pics made it seem fab online…however, I know have decided that I dont care for it at much.  More to come on this later.  It has become a debacle. I played with the dog and looked at the kids’ gifts before we headed over to my gpas for xmas day dinner and more gifts.  It was nice to be there…I got to visit both of my uncles and one of their wives.  It is great to see them…they are a lot of fun and make getting together fun.  We opened gifts and then had dinner and snacks and such.   I got some money, gift cards, a hoodie, and cologne.  Woo!

Wednesday was spent sleeping WAYYY in and watching the kids and the dog.  it was actually enjoyable.  I spent the whole day playing with their new toys, games and movies.  They were good for me, and it was nice to spend some quality time with them.  I will be posting pics of my xmas on facebook later.  I spent the whole day there and then came back home late last night.  I had a severe headache, but decided to put away Christmas stuff anyways.   Then I watched the realworld and figured out what i am going to do with my cash.

I put a BUNCH in savings, and then i am going to spend the rest on a few items I would like:

-Digital Photo Frame

-Sweater Vest from American Eagle

-some other misc. Items

-and…and upgrade to my watch…which i thought i like…but I don’t.

Not having a receipt and dealing with Kohls on returns is the devil.  Plus, they don’t have the watch I want…so I am going to the store again tonight to look at some more and hopefully find one and just get it.

I haven’t had a watch since before thanksgiving, and I am in desperate need of getting one, getting it sized correctly, and doing all of that before I leave for school again next sat or sunday.  I haven’t decided which day i am moving back in.  Time will tell.

So, now it is your turn.  I have three questions for you!!!

1) How was your christmas?  What did you get?

2) When are you moving back to school?  Sat or Sun?

3) and…if you have any stories or advice for returning things…oh joy

Until tomorrow…

D