a fortune…

I had a craving for Chinese take out tonight…and didn’t feel like eating chicken or pizza…the food the university supplies on the weekend.

So, I made my way uptown to the cheap Chinese joint, ordered, took it back home, and enjoyed it.

My fortune read:

“Happier Days are definitely ahead for you, struggle has ended.”

To me, this is a wonderful fortune, and I hope it rings true.  It really does describe my situation right now.

no time to update…

Until this weekend.

I have 4 days of nothingness to fill.

so I will blog (maybe a video blog??)

And lots of homework, catching up on reading, working out, relaxing, etc.

Check back later

taking care of business…

So I don’t have Friday classes this quarter, and I love it.  I slept in and ran errands all day and then got some reading done.  I am slowly, but surely getting caught up on work.  I have a ton more to do, but I am making progress.  I am going to work all afternoon and a good portion of the evening today on work to be in good shape for next week.  If I get it all done before monday, then I will be cleared for a good week.  Of course there are still tons of assignments that will fall on me agian as soon as I get caught up.  That’s college

Last night I went out with my friends.  It was a blast.  Thursday night we went dancing in the club.  Tonight I am not sure what I am going to do.  I have a few options, and the day is still too young to decide what I will feel like doing.  None-the-less, I hope I have fun.

PS:  I notice that my Dell Tech Support Story is the entry with the most hits.  Its funny to me.  I get a kick out of seeing the number of times it has been read.  Crazy.

Until later…take care and BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

classes are kicking my ass

This quarter has proved to be quite difficult so far.  I am way over my head with errands, chores, homework, assignment, quizzes, reading, etc.  It has been a whirlwind since i got back.  I have been running here and there trying to get everything done.  I am making progress, but still have a lot to do.

Tomorrow is Thurday, but technically friday for me.  I don’t have friday classes, so i have a 3 day weekend.  Plenty of time for me to catch up and maybe get caught up for the beginning of next week.

Wish me luck…

College Town

I am back to school, well college actually.  I am a big boy now…lol.  I arrived yesterday at noon, unloaded, dad and I went uptown to grab lunch and books, and then we came back here for a bit.  We talked, unpacked a little, and then he left and returned home.  I unpacked alllllll afternoon.  But, I got everything put away and organized.  I also cleaned from 7 weeks worth of empty room dirt.  But I got it all done, and all is good.

Then I met up with some friends and reunited after a very long break.  It was terrific.   We exchanged Christmas gifts and then went to dinner.  We later went to a friends apartment and chatted and played games.  We returned to campus about midnight.  It was so awesome to be out that late the night before classes start.  Campus was dead and all…but we were out and it was fun.  I don’t have class till 11am, so it works out fine…and I love it.

I am finally living the college lifestyle:  Earliest class is 11, and I don’t have friday classes.  woot!

But, I am off to meet some people before we walk to class, and then I have a full, busy day of class.  This week should be good, fun, and fast.  I have friends in classes, and I like it.  I am excited and doing MUCH better now that I am back on campus.

ta ta

D

Hello, Goodbye

As soon as break started, it is over.  7 weeks flew by.  I had a great time.  I honestly did.  Work, money, family, a wee bit of fun, and some R&R time.  I got to clear my mind and literally take a break for a while.  I needed it.  I also spent some quality time with my mother.  We had a great time together over break and I really enjoyed it.  Lots of fun little trips.  Plus, the holidays, presents, Christmas time, etc.  It was good.

I am done packing now, minus the last minute things in the morning.  I am planning on heading out VERY early to be at school by lunch time.  Unpacking and re-adjusting all afternoon, and then hopefully re-uniting with friends in the evening.  I am still experiencing mixed emotions, but I think I will get over it shortly…or at least I hope.  I am excited for college atmosphere again, friends, social activities, classes with friends and meals together.  But, I am dreading being a lone, bored, depressed, and stranded during WINTER.  bleh.

In other news, my phone decided to power off randomly repeatedly today.  So, basically it isn’t functioning.  SO, I spoke to foreign ppl all afternooon and so did my step dad.  We also stopped by a store to try and resolve it.  no luck.  So, in 5 business days, I will hopefully be recieving a funcitoning, new phone in the mail.  w00t.   Until then, I am hoping it will work.

wish me luck in all of these endeavors.  Hopefully the move goes well and it is a good quarter.  It will be hard to control my emotions as I leave home and say goodbye to mom tomorrow morning, but I will have to be a man and deal with it.  I have become such a fuddy duddy, baby, and a homebody of late.  I hate it.   I need change…and perhaps some help.

Until I get settled at college and find the time to blog again,

D

I’m not ignoring you…

I have just been really busy with stuff aka getting ready to move back to College.  I had a rather lengthy phone conversation with one of my very best friends from school after I posted my “emotion” blog.  We discussed many things, including our reservations to return to school.  Winter quarter for me last year was a drag, and I am just dreading it this year.  I think I have that seasonal depression disorder thing, because every winter I get sad when all of the plants die and the sun goes away for ever.  But, My phone call helped me out a lot.  It is always great to talk to a friend, especially a good, close one who has lots of advice.  So, thanks…I appreciated it.  It also made me feel a bit better to return to school.  We already set up our Christmas gift exchange of which I am happy about, and there is a Dance or Die next Thursday, which I can barely wait for.

This coming week will be so busy, I don’t know what I am going to do.  I have so many welcome back meetings and such…it is overwhelming.  Classes shouldn’t be too bad, especially on syllabus day (monday).  I decided I am going to move in on Sunday because I don’t need the extra day…and I want to avoid being alone in the empty dorm.  I can move back, unpack, run errands, clean, etc before I go to bed, so I will be fine.  Plus, I will have plenty of opportunities to get stuff done off and on this coming week.  My father is taking me back, which will hopefully help things a little bit.  I will be over saying goodbye to my mom by the time the 3 hour drive is over (i hope).

So, as I had mentioned I have been busy with packing and errands.  I got my hair cut, met my mom for lunch, visited my grandma, went over to my dad’s for dinner last night, etc etc.  Today is a day of heavy duty packing.  I will have most of it done today.  I need to get in gear however.  It is already 11am and I haven’t showered, so I need to step on it.

So, as I close break, leave home, and return to school, keep me in your thoughts and wish me the best.  I will be fine once I get back there and adjusted…I just hate the transition.  Also, don’t expect an update for a few days at least.  I will be uber busy…and time will be hard to come by when I get back to college.  I will post when I can.

D

Emotion

So I wasn’t going to update today.  Primarily because I was not in the mood to do it and I was lazy.  I had a good day overall**.  I went bowling with the parents this afternoon.  Mom fixed a wonderful home cooked meal for New Years.  It was delicious and fab.  Additionally, we again had family game night and it was enjoyable.  I helped mom do some stuff today, and I got a few small things done as well.

**However, as the day progressed, I progressively felt more and more sad, lonely, depressed, anxious.  This is because the fact that I only have 4 more days at home hit me.  I will be going back to school on Saturday or Sunday.  I haven’t decided yet…and I am not sure when I will.  I am in no mood to think about it now.  If I move back on Sun, I have more time to get ready, pack, and more time to spend at home.  I think I will be able to unpack in one day and prepare for classes.  However, if I move back on Saturday, I may spend the evening alone, quiet, depressed, etc in the empty dorms on a barren campus.  I don’t want to make the somber occasion of leaving home and more difficult.

Going to school this fall was so exciting.  I was ready for it.  I was excited for it.  I WANTED to go back.  I have none of those feelings for this winter quarter.  In fact, I have quite the opposite feelings.  I am sad, depressed, dreading it, and already homesick before I even leave.  It has something to do with some bad experiences last quarter, the VERY long break and time at home, and also the depressing nature of Winter itself.  I have a single dorm room, of which I mostly enjoy.  However, it gets extremely lonely and depressing sometimes.  The white walls are so close, it is so dull and boring.  It makes me crazy and depressed sometimes.  I like the freedom of my own room, but I miss living with another being.  It was exciting to have visitors last year…and to be social.  I miss that.  Moreover, I don’t have any friends in my dorm complex…and I resent that greatly…as I am sure it would help.  So, I just want to make sure that when I go back, I have people to hang out with.  I don’t want to be stuck in another night with no plans when all of my friends do their own thing.  I hate that.  I don’t want any conflicts.  No drama, etc.  I want to maintain the current friendships I have as well as meet new people and make new friends.  I want to add to my group.  I feel as though I don’t have enough friends, I am insecure about it, and that is one big thing.

I have become a fuddy duddy again over break, adjusted to my home life, and my life before college.  Break was extremely good to me, home, mom, family, etc was so good, I don’t want to leave it all again.  I am not the adventurous type…at all.  I like to stick to my ways and what I am comfy/happy with.   Returning to school and the unknown freaks me out.  I am a weak person, with low self worth, and I just can’t cope sometimes.

I need help. support.  friends. and love.  I have goals for this quarter.  and I want to get through it without completely crumbling.

I just need to suck it up, face my fear, return to school, and cope.  Hopefully things will work out and be ok.  I know it most likely will be.  But I doubt myself too much.  UGH.  I need to stop.

Basically thats it for now.  I had planed to go to bed much earlier tonight in order to clear my mind, get up early when things are fresh and not 12 pm.  I need to think, ponder, talk to a friend or two…and move on.

Much to do in the next few days.  I have to pack, shop, run errands, laundry, etc.  All of which I dream much.  Wish me luck.

Hopefully some good energy flows my way and I improve soon.  I’ll keep you posted and try to blog again shortly.